Why is it called “Definitely NOT Parenting”?

Great question.

Picture three adults. They get together once a week over dinner and talk about personal goals—relationship goals, creative goals, exercise goals—however each person wants to grow.

They talk about the challenges they face, they brainstorm solutions, encouraging each other to overcome fear and they hold each other accountable.

Clearly, there is no ‘parenting’ happening in that situation, yet the group dynamic each person is more likely to achieve their goals as opposed to ‘going it alone.’

Now, let’s say you wanted to join this club. There’s a LOT you’d have to learn! You’d have to find out what’s important to the group, how do they spend their time. Most of all, you’d have to find out what behavior is acceptable and what will get you kicked out of the group.

And the more you like those people, THE HARDER YOU WILL WORK TO FIT IN.

NOW imagine those three people are a Mom, a Dad, and a 6-year-old. And they’ve welcomed a new member to the family!

Just like the Wagon Wheelers, the rules, routines and attitudes already in place when this newest member arrives are the rules, routines and attitudes he/she will accept as unquestionable reality and, without effort, absorb as part of his/her Identity.

This is the most absolutely magical quality of everything you’ll find here at Definitely NOT Parenting.